Today is the 60th anniversary of the death"OMG here come the Russians quick let's get married and then shoot ourselves in the head," of Adolf Hitler.
SITYSK™ would like to commemorate the deathself-execution of ol' Adolf with an update:
He is still satisfyingly dead.
That is all.
UPDATE: Howdy, LeatherPenguin readers! Make yourselves comfy.
French surrender
This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.
Caterpillar invasions are not that rare in eastern France.That's not the only kind of invasion that's not rare in eastern France.
But those must be some seriously bad caterpillars.
Oh, wait, this is France.
Okay, messed around with the template a bit more. Finally got around to adding the Alliance blogroll, and then realized the whole sidebar needed to be revised. Changed the color scheme a bit, too. Whatch'y'all think?
I guess I have good timing. They just updated the Alliance roll, so that worked out pretty good. It's all nice and organized and tidy. Hey- I'm **Spicy!**. Uhh... at first I thought that meant "new", until I saw BMEWS and the Rott in the same category. Does that mean I'm special? Yay! I got spicy! I got spicy! I got spicy! Yay!
(/Special Ed mode)
Anyway, does anybody know what that means?
Oh, and I decided to make a spot for Nifty Quotes™. But I don't have any yet. So, uh, let's have some quotes, eh.
And on a final note, the Site Meter passed 3000 while I was in the process of messing with the sidebar. That must be a good sign. Threw me for a loop for a second though, 'cuz that was one of the things I was moving around, but I was only fixing one thing at a time and then checking to see how it made the template look. It caught me off guard 'cuz I was looking at something else and I noticed my Site Meter looked different. So I'm thinking, what the heck made my Site Meter change? Duh.
Anywho.
Hey, that piece of crap who turned on his officers, the Army and his country has been sentenced to die. Make it quick. Like tomorrow. Traitorous murdering wordsfailme. Die now please.
Thus Spake the Traitor:
I want to apologize for the attack that occurred.I doubt that very much.
I felt that my life was in jeopardy...Don't lie to me.
...and I had no other options.Oh, please. At least go the route of Fellow-Traitor-But-At-Least-He-Didn't-Kill-Anybody Pablo Paredes. Run off into the desert and look for your Islamofascist friends. Swim home. Don't tell me your only option was to kill your chain of command. Die slow in agony.
I also want to ask you for forgiveness.Denied. And it takes a lot to get me to that point. Lord, help me with my unforgiveness.
But this traitor must die as soon as possible, as slowly as possible.
If Akbar is executed, it would be by lethal injection.Not good enough. Let the families left behind beat him to death.
Your 72 goats will be waiting for you in Hell. Please die now, you disgrace to the NCO Corps, the Screaming Eagles, the U.S. Army, the greatest country ever, and the human race.
I'm pissed off now.
Note: The link for this is from CNN, but my computer doesn't want to go to their site right now. Post will be properly linked when my computer decides to Act Right™.
-confound it! Now CNN has updated their story, and I can't find the right link! Time to pull a Kos! Screw 'em! No link! Ha ha ha!!!
Whatever. Here's the post, anyway:Russian President Vladimir Putin faced down Israeli criticism Thursday, saying that Russia's planned sale of anti-aircraft missiles to Syria and supply of nuclear components to Iran do not threaten Israel's security.Interesting... and just how did you come about this theory? I'm not sure, but I do believe the only country that's ever had its planes shot down by Syrian missiles is Israel. Y'know, the three? four? times they tried to push the Eeeeeevil Jooooooooooos™ into the sea, and the Eeeeeevil Jooooooooooos™ refused to go.
As far as providing Iran with nuclear anything- that's stupid. I have a nifty idea for third-world countries run by psychotic dictators- if they say they need nuclear material to provide power for The People™, don't believe them. They build bombs with that crap. *cough* North Korea *cough*
He also pledged to tackle the growing problem of anti-Semitism in his country.That's nice, seeing as his country is second only to Nazi Germany in terms of historical pogroms against Jews.
Putin spoke on the second day of his historic visit to Israel -- the first trip here by a Kremlin leader. The trip was intended to cement Russia's rapprochement with the Jewish state and boost its profile in the international arena."I sure hope we can be friends, good buddy! -oh, that? Never mind that. That's just some stuff that the people who always try to kill you can eventually make a nuclear weapon out of. It can't hurt you."
Putin was greeted Thursday morning by the pomp of an official welcoming ceremony, complete with a military honor guard and Jewish, Muslim and Christian religious leaders.Which anyone with common sense could see.But the visit was shadowed by disagreements with Israel over Russia's aid to Syria and Iran, two of Israel's staunchest enemies. Russia has provided assistance for Iran's nuclear program and has agreed to sell anti-aircraft missiles to Syria. Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has said repeatedly the missiles pose a danger to Israel and wants Putin to halt the deal.
Israeli Vice Premier Ehud Olmert said Thursday that Russia is selling Iran components that can be used to make non-conventional weapons, and that Russia's assistance to Iran is a cause of concern. Israel accuses Iran of pursuing nuclear weapons, though Tehran says its nuclear program is for peaceful purposes only.Oh, well, then, they must be telling the truth! World leaders are always completely up front about their intentions!
*cough* Munich Pact *cough*
"His deal with Iran is not just an arms deal," Olmert told Army Radio on Thursday, referring to Putin. "He also supplies Iran with components that could be used for possible production of non-conventional weapons.""Could"? "Possible"? You are far too nice.
The United States announced Wednesday it had authorized the sale of as many as 100 large bunker-buster bombs to Israel, which experts saw as a warning to Iran about its nuclear ambitions.Which "experts"? I think the supply of nuclear weapons Israel already possesses should be enough of a deterrent- but Mutually Assured Destruction only works against countries that care about- or at least need for survival- their populations.
Putin defended the moves in talks with Katsav, who holds a largely ceremonial role, saying that Russia was sensitive to Israel's security concerns. "Regarding Iran, we are working to make sure their nuclear ability is used for peaceful means."Really? What exactly are you doing? Asking them "pretty please with sugar on top"?
The agreement with Iran requires it to return all its spent nuclear fuel to Russia so it cannot be used for military purposes, Putin said. "I agree that these steps are not enough and we have to get Iran to agree to nuclear inspections," he said at a joint news conference in Jerusalem with Katzav.You agree that what you're doing isn't enough. And your plan is to try something that's been tried countless times on evil regimes the world over- and has never worked. Good plan, genius.
He also sought to allay concerns about the Syrian arms deal, saying the missiles should pose no threat to Israel. "The missiles we are providing to Syria are short-range anti-aircraft missiles that cannot reach Israeli territory," he said. "To come within their range, you would have to attack Syria. Do you want to do that?"Id. I. Ot. Has Israel ever attacked Syria? Have they ever attacked anyone? No. Have Arab missiles shot down Israeli planes? Yes. In wars that the Arabs started, where the IAF was attempting to drive out the invaders.
Israeli warplanes bombed alleged militant training bases outside Damascus on October 5, 2003, and have buzzed one of Syrian President Bashar Assad's palaces.Always with the "alleged". The Mossad is very good at what they do, so I doubt a mistake was made. And if the Israelis said they bombed militant training bases, then by golly, that's what they bombed.
Oh, and by the way- show me the Syrian election results that show Assad is a "president". One of these days a real good rant on the proper use of that word is coming.
Putin said he had personally vetoed the sale of longer-range missiles to Syria out of concern for Israel's safety.Aw, how sweet.
Officials close to the talks, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Russia had already signed a deal with Syria for missiles with a range of 300 kilometers (185 miles). According to the officials, Putin told Katzav "then I checked and my experts told me that Israel has no way to intercept these missiles so I canceled the deal."Well, I can't tell ya how much better that makes me feel, considering Israel's only about 60 miles across at its widest point. My guess is Syria didn't need missiles that can hit empty air above the Med three times as far away as the closest Israeli plane.
"We are taking the opinions and concerns of our partners into consideration, and not changing the balance of power in the region," Putin said at the news conference. "Israel has no problem here."Aside from the constant threat of invasion and annihilation.
Israeli media reported Thursday that Sharon also opposes Russia's plan to sell military equipment to the Palestinians. Palestinian officials have said Russia is interested in selling armored vehicles to their security services for use in riot control. Israel fears the armored vehicles could fall into the hands of militants.Or that they would skip the "falling into" step and just start out in the hands of the militants. This is Palestine we're talking about.
Putin began his visit here late Wednesday on a note of controversy, proposing, just before his arrival, that Russia host a Mideast peace conference in the fall, after Israel withdraws from Gaza. Palestinians warmly embraced the idea, but Israel and the United States brushed it aside.What opportunity is that? Set up an independent Palestinian state on the moon and arrange to transport all the Palestinians there?He did not bring up the conference proposal during Thursday's news conference with Katsav, but said there was a unique opportunity to achieve peace in the region.
"We think there is a chance now to achieve a just Israeli-Palestinian settlement ... much will depend on Israel's willingness and the Palestinians' willingness, first and foremost," Putin said.It's kinda hard to reach an agreement when one party's stance is "All of you die" and the other's stance is "No."
Katsav said the two disagreed during their meeting on the weapons sales, with Katsav calling for Russia to pressure Syria to close the Damascus offices of Palestinian militant groups.And apparently still is. Let's see- 1967 and 1973- Arabs invade Israel with weapons they acquired from- guess which country. It wasn't France.Despite the disagreements, Katsav warmly welcomed Putin's visit, which was seen as a dramatic gesture of support by a country that was once one of Israel's historic enemies.
"I can say that I view Vladimir Putin as a friend of the state of Israel," he said.Uh, Russia has to join the fight against terrorism before it can "continue".The two men also discussed economic cooperation, Russia's role in the region and the fight against anti-Semitism. They also signed a vague joint statement urging perseverance in Mideast peace efforts and pledging continued cooperation in fighting terrorism.
There's a bit more to the article, but I didn't have anything to add. Plus I'm all writ out. Maybe I'm being too hard on the old boy, I don't know. He is, after all, Just Another European Politician™. Me tired. Later.
Good read. Check it out.
It starts out satirizing the Left's paranoid babblings about the Minutemen, and evolves into a good ol' fashioned pimp-slapping of Leftist scare tactics in general.
Incidentally, the Minutemen have been (predictably) forgotten by the MSM when they realized there was nothing there. No sniping of border-jumpers, no beatdowns of ACLU potheads, no story. I must admit- the Minutemen even slipped my mind the last week or so, and for that I apologize- to my Loyal Reader(s?)™, and more so to the Minutemen themselves. Appreciate what you did for us, fellas.
Anyway. Go read it. S'good stuff.
Hat tip: Michelle Malkin, over at the Immigration Blog.
(As to the titlemanifested laziness at the head of this post, it's been a long day, and I'm tired. Minion Status™ will be awarded to the first Loyal Reader™ who comes up with a witty title.)
M'gosh! It would appear that Tao Libra showed up in the comments section and scared my evil little italics problem straight!
...and now, for a test...
I'm not a sportsblogger, and I'll be the first to admit that I can be a fair-weather fan at times. All that aside, I would just like to point out that the Defending Champion™ Detroit Pistons are beating the ever-lovin' crap out of the 76ers right now. Thank you.
UPDATE: The game is over. Heh, I say.
Well, I've been waiting for an update to the Anna Alaya case, and here it is.
The woman who was arrested after claiming she bit into a human finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili waived extradition Tuesday, telling a judge she was eager to return to California to face charges.Yeah, I bet. She still thinks she'll get away with this.
Anna Ayala, 39, appeared before the same judge who issued a warrant for police to search her home outside Las Vegas on April 6. Records from that raid are sealed.Isn't that what snotty lawyers are for? Quotes that usually place the blame on Somebody Else™?Outside court, Ayala's lawyer, Frederick Tait Ehler of San Jose, derided charges against his client as baseless.
"Anna says they're ridiculous," Ehler said of the charges of attempted grand larceny. "She's eager to go back to San Jose."But is she eager to go to San Quentin?
Ayala was arrested late Thursday, and San Jose police on Friday called her claim a hoax. Authorities said the attempted grand theft charge relates to millions in dollars of financial losses Wendy's has suffered since news broke of her claim.Make. Her. Pay. Every. Penny.
Ayala maintains she bit down on a 1-1/2 inch-long finger fragment while dining March 22 with her family at a Wendy's in San Jose. She has denied placing the digit in her bowl.She's a liar. Big surprise.
She hired a lawyer and filed a claim against the franchise owner, but dropped the legal fight shortly after police searched her home."Oh my gosh! They're onto me!"
Ayala, who has maintained her innocence, faces a maximum seven-year sentence if convicted of the larceny charges, and at least another 16 months if convicted of unrelated charges that she allegedly bilked a woman $11,000 over a soured real estate deal two years ago.Good, but not good enough. She needs to have to work very hard for the rest of her life and have all her money go to paying Wendy's back for the damages.
Ayala has been involved in nearly a dozen legal battles, including a sexual harassment suit against an employer, an auto dealer over a car and even another fast-food chain for food poisoning.See what we've started? We let a few people get away with frivilous lawsuits, lazy liars see it as a way to get rich quick and never have to do that awful Work™ thing any more, and you get a country full of Anna Alayas. Way to go.
Authorities have not yet identified who the finger belonged to or Ayala's connection to it.And are probably frantically searching mortuaries as we speak.
A person with knowledge about the case who spoke on condition of anonymity said the finger charge stemmed from San Jose police interviews with people who said Ayala described putting a finger in the chili, statements bolstered by authorities announcing last week that it did not appear the finger had been simmering in chili.How 'bout this? Whenever anybody launches what looks like a massive frivilous lawsuit, keep an eye on them. Taking them into custody, although my first reaction, is a bit much- but let them know, "sorry for the inconvience, but we have to make sure you're telling the truth..."
The company maintains that the finger did not enter the food chain in its ingredients. Employees at the San Jose franchise have all their fingers, and no suppliers of Wendy's ingredients reported any hand or finger injuries, the company said....duh.
Wendy's, based at Dublin, Ohio, is offering $100,000 for information leading to the origin of the finger.Screw that. Beat the info out of Anna Alaya. I betcha she knows where she got it.
Grr.
Part I here.
Part III- They found the finger. Mwheh.
Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.
Some interesting tidbits from the leader of the world's largest country:
The collapse of the Soviet Union was "the greatest political catastrophe of the last century," Russian president Vladimir Putin said...I'll agree 100% with that statement if he changes the word "collapse" to "creation".
...the 1991 breakup of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics... left tens of millions of Russian people living outside Russia...Oh yeah? And the 1917 setup of said "union" left millions of non-Russians without a country of their own.
...personal savings were wiped out...Lemme get this straight. "Personal savings" were wiped out with the collapse of the Soviet Union. Hmm. And this whole time I thought the Socialist Worker's Paradise™ left all of its citizens without any money anyway.
...and "old ideals" were destroyed.I wish that were true. Unfortunately a billion Chinese are still slaves to those ideals.
Putin has come in for international criticism recently over what some see as a rollback in press and judicial freedom, as well as democratic rights.Well, after comments like these, I'd say those criticisms are justified. Can you imagine the Chancellor (or whatever he's called) of Germany saying that things in his country were great until they lost that pesky war?
"Man, I sure do pine for the good ol' days of 1940! Germany had it together then, I tells ya!"
Um, nope.
Well, the colors of the Russian flag are the same as ours, the British, and (eep) the French- red, white, and blue. Obviously Putin's colors are red with a yellow hammer and sickle.
Hat tip: Fark- your source for on-point news.
So the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia is visiting President Bush today. And one of the biggest topics of conversation will be:
Oil!
Bush said he'll make clear Monday that it's not in Saudi Arabia's interests to keep oil prices high.channeling moonbattery
But... wait... hold on... Why are we still buying oil from the Saudis? The EeeeevilBushchimplerZionistHelliburtonCabal™ stole all the oil we'll ever need to feed our SUVs o' Doom™ from the noble Iraqi people! If * needed oil from Saudi Arabia, he'd just warforoil on in there and take it!!!
(/moonbat mode)
Whew, that was a close one. Almost stayed in Moonbatia a few seconds too long. Might not have made it back.
Just a little Ren there for ya.
So I was watching Fox & Friends this morning. They were talking about something Moby had said. It would appear that he, although he's not gay, wants his son to be. Going off the knowledge that every moonbat possesses- that being, gayness is not a choice, but is forced upon poor unsuspecting people- he's trying to find a way to make his son be gay.
Don't be gay, Sparky. Don't be gay.
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Anyway, after extensive scientific research, he has somehow come to the conclusion that having his son drink soy milk will make him gay.
...
...what?
...
Dude, stop. You're making it hard to finish this post. I can't type and laugh at the same time.
Maybe there's a reason you spin discs and not sing. Keep your trap shut.
What's that saying about holding your tongue and being thought a fool rather than opening your mouth and removing all doubt?
...doof.
(She probably wouldn't have been packing.)
Day by Day rules.
(/nelson mode)
So, a week ago I wrote this. I'd like to go back and rehash some of those points, specifically the ones referring to Michigan weather.
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.Not so sure about it any more. Maybe this summer will be merely mediocre sledding, not bad.
Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.I bet this happened to some kids this week.
Oh, wait- it did happen to the Tigers. Are they considered "Little League"?
You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.Bet some people actually dealt with this.
"Honey, didn't we just get to the beach? Why is the sand so cold and white???"
You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.I saw the girl on the news actually do this. It was friggin' cool. 'Course, she was pointing to Lansing when she said, "Now I'm pointing to Detroit," but oh well. At least she used the right hand.
You know more about [wind-]chill factors and lake effect [snow] than you'd EVER like to know!Hey! Bring back Nelson!
(nelson mode)
HA-ha!
(/nelson mode)
You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.I say again: "If you don't like the weather in Michigan, wait five minutes. It'll get worse."
Toldya.
Oh, incidentally, the picture of the woman scraping the late-April ice off her windshield- yeah, that's the town I grew up in. Clarkston, Michigan. So, one last great big Nelson for all my snowbound relatives:
HA-ha!!!
goes back to the gently swaying palm tree
No, the "crap" isn't what she wrote, it's what (or who) she wrote about. Just wanted to make sure that was clear. Remind me to add Margo Lucero to the list of people who require immediate, repeated pimp-slappings.
And in other news, I had a really cool post written- and almost finished- this morning.
Then the Bloggmonster woke up.
I guess he was hungry.
He must've learned my tactic of saving my post to Word before posting it- I do that because his favorite trick is gobbling it all up between the "Create Post" page and my homepage. Now he's changed techniques to waiting in the shadows between the "Edit" page and the "Compose" page.
Tried to edit the post. The last two thirds of it disappeared. He left the introduction, though. Very odd. Must've just wanted a snack. He'll probably come back to finish the rest later. Or maybe this post I'm writing right now.
Dirty Bloggmonster.
I'm thinkin' about it, CD, I really am...
UPDATE: Yep, he must've gone back to sleep. shhh... don't wake him...
Well, I was gonna write about this, but I didn't have much to say. Plus I figured sooner or later NickD would give it a Marine's perspective.
...yup.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love to see people get what they deserve. Remember that lawsuit-happy lady who conjured up a fingertip in order to sue Wendy's?
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Make her pay back every dime she cost Wendy's. And then somebody slap her for taking such things for granted. I'm not all about the Wendy's chili, but good grief could I go for one of those greasy, salty, meaty, ever-so-yummy triple cheeseburgers. Plus I hate to see people done wrong for no reason.
And I love to see frivolous lawsuit crackpots forced to eat their words.
Heh.
UPDATE: Well, earlier they said she was being charged with attempted grand larceny and grand larceny. That didn't make much sense until now.
The attempted grand larceny charge was for the Wendy's incident, according to Davis. He said the grand larceny allegation has no connection to the Wendy's case and instead stemmed from a 2002 incident in which Ayala allegedly tried to sell a mobile home in San Jose that she didn't own. The victim lost $11,000.Hmm. It would appear that her little history just keeps on growing.
The charge stemmed from San Jose police interviews with people who said Ayala described putting a finger in the chili, according to a person knowledgeable about the case who spoke on condition of anonymity.Better come up with a good story quick, lady.The person said the interviews were with at least two people who did not know each other and independently told similar stories.
...Wendy's franchises in Northern California have lost $2.5 million...Yep. She needs to pay back every penny.
May the ghost of Dave Thomas haunt you forever. Evil wench.
Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.
You've gotta be kidding me.
Check out Google today.
A cute little (kinda gay-looking, but cute) squirrel, a purty little purple bird, a little tree with a little nest and a little just-hatched birdie with his not-hatched-yet little brother...
If it wasn't Earth Day, I would really appreciate something like that.
Michelle Malkin pointed out about three weeks ago that Google paid homage to van Gogh. Shortly thereafter they did the same for da Vinci. I have no problem with that. Couple of great guys. The problem is they didn't do a thing for the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ on Easter. It wouldn't have been that hard. Show three crosses on a hill on one side, and an empty tomb on the other. A billion Christians would've felt happy. But for the sake of worshiping at the altar of PC-ness, they shunned us. Couldn't offend those non-Christians. But they'll remake their front page for an artist or inventor. Okay.
I doubt they would put up an image of Mohammed or Buddha or [insert your false idol here] on their special days. Wouldn't put it past 'em, though. What they don't understand is that Earth Day is a religious holiday as much as Christmas and Easter are Christian holidays. Yes. That's right. When I said "the altar of PC-ness", I wasn't joking. Political correctness is a branch of the church of humanism. Everybody worships something- be it God, or Allah, or some Hindu god, or money, or television, or themselves. Many people worship people. That's what humanism is.
Side rant: I always wondered, when I was in The System Designed To Produce Non-thinking, Ignorant Sheeppublic school, why it was that they couldn't teach anything Christian- on the basis of the not-written-anywhere-in-the-Constitution "separation of church and state"- but they were free, in fact encouraged, to shove secularism and humanism down my throat.
Back on topic. Google has spurned the most important Christian holiday, but blatantly supports one of the most precious humanist ones. Nice double standard, people. Can I expect jack-o-lanterns and ghosts on Halloween?
Aah, what the heck. I'll still continue to use Google, I like their service. Will I write them a letter? Nah. I'll just bash them from the safety of my blog.
They're still wrong, though.
Oh, yeah, I'm making up a holiday. Today is Worldwide Flagrantly Abuse and Waste Precious Resources Day, and it coincides with Pimp-slap a Tree-hugging Hippie Day. Enjoy.
Have we started taking that sweet, sweet crude out of the ANWR yet?
UPDATE, a few minutes later: I forgot something. They obviously ignored Easter in order not to offend non-Christians. Well, in celebrating Earth Day over Easter, you've offended me. But- somehow- America has gotten to the point where it's just about illegal to offend anyone that's not a Christian, but almost a necessity to offend Christians as often as possible.
Maybe we should launch another Crusade. Hmm. Straighten some things out.
Oh, after a bit of research, I found that they have something for Halloween every year. Something for Chinese New Year almost every year. And- every year- "Season's Greetings". Not Christmas.
Yeah. That phrase offends me, too. The government needs to abolish it, pronto. Maybe this December I'll just throw around half a dozen lawsuits against people that use "Season's Greetings".
Be scared, world. Be very scared.
Grr.
The first couple lines have been edited, due to the fact that I realized after the fact how disgusting they inadvertently were.
First of all, I would like to give mad props to aapavatar. I don't know who runs the site, (maybe I've haven't looked around enough), but much thanks. They have a big ol' list of milbloggers, and they were kind enough to put my humble lil' blahg with the likes of risawn, dogtulosba, Assumption of Command, Blackfive, Lt Smash, etc. Now, I really don't consider SITYSK™ to be a true milblog. Yeah, I'm in the Army, and once in a while I'll throw out some Army crap because it's what I was thinking about that day. But they saw fit to include me in the list anyway, and about a quarter of my hits on any given day come from there. Thanks, fellas.
The other linky-love is for someone mentioned in the above paragraph that I've been meaning to blogroll for like a month. Bad Brad. Better late than never, eh. So. Go read dogtulosba. And a big friggin' "hooah" to the Airborne Sapper Ell-tee!
...yup.
Hey, it's time to play every SITYSK's™ favorite game! That's right, Answer the Bloggy Question!
cheesy game show music
Today's Bloggy Question is: How do I make a screen cap (or whatever it's called)? 'Cuz on this post I linked to my Site Meter where it shows my nifty basilanche from a couple weeks back. (Oh, by the way, I decided "basilanche" sounds better than "basilalanche". Maybe I should ask basil for his opinion. Hmm.) Trouble is, it's a link to something that changes every day. So in another week or two, it'll be gone, and any new readers who might happen to peruse the ol' Archives will see that and say, "What basilanche? Brad's crazy!"
Incidentally, I've had this type of problem before.
And our first contestant is...
crickets chewing gum
Wow, it's so quiet even the crickets won't chirp.
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
...and we'll skip the part about women's clothing... aaaaaaanyway.
It would appear that Cox & Forkum appreciate Global Warming Will Kill Us All If We Don't Do Something™Earth Day as much as I do.
Mwheh.
Hat tip: Assumption of Command, via basil.
This is friggin' funny. We'll start with some samplings from Bama.
You Know You're From Alabama When...
You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.
...or stay inside for fear of your life. The Iron Bowl gets vicious.
You would much rather visit Florida than California.
I wouldn't visit California if I lived in Reno, Nevada. I might get infected.
...then again, Florida's been pretty messed up lately too.
A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke.
Trying as hard as possible not to catch this habit. I've actually caught myself calling pop "soda" a couple times. Scary.
You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart.
Don't have any trouble calling a cart a cart, though.
You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "usetacould" during the last week.
...
...what's weird 'bout that'ere? Y'ain't from 'round heah, izya?
You know the meaning of the phrase "Fobbed again."
Mwheh.
You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Opelika, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.
Yoo-FAL-a, Oh-puh-LIE-cah, BYE-yoo Luh-BAH-tra, and, uh... sorry, don't know the last one.
You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and you know someone who eats them anyway.
The only person I know that eats chitlins is me wife. And she's from Chicago.
You think that people who complain about the humidity in other states are sissies.
Mwheh. Y'all ain't seen nuthin'...
Now, a few from the Motor City:
You Know You're From Detroit When...
You are mad about the Joe Louis Statue (the fist) in the middle of Jefferson.
Yeah!
You don't know the difference between winter white and summer white.
There's a difference?
You've had to drive a half a mile to make a left turn (The Michigan Left).
Oh, the horror. More on this further down.
You drink Faygo pop.
Faygo! Word!
You've been to the Festival in Hart Plaza.
Guilty.
The Cass Corridor is your jogging route.
Do I look suicidal to you?
You have a taste for coney dogs.
Worked at an A&W for two years.
You can dodge potholes without dropping your cell phone.
Couldn't make it through the city without this skill.
You know the given names of all the expressways.
Ooh, it's been a while. Let's see how many I can remember- the Fisher, the Ford, um, Southfield... er... sorry, that's it. It's been almost a decade, folks.
You know Eminem and Kid Rock are not actually from Detroit, but Warren (a suburb) and a small farm town.
A "small farm town"?! Romeo has a name, people!!!
...and ICP is from friggin' Southfield!
You have ridden the People Mover.
Fifty cents takes you all around downtown. Cobo, the RenCen, I think Hart Plaza... I still remember Greektown is Stop 13. Opa!
My dad used to call it the "Mugger Mover".
When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows.
What are you, stupid? The windows are already rolled up, and the doors are locked! This is Detroit, silly!
And now, for the place where I grew up. We're about to find the difference between livin' in Bama for eight years and livin' in Michigan for eighteen.
You Know You're From Michigan When...
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
True.
You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.
Weren't they?
You can identify an Ohio accent.
Ustacould.
Owning a Japanese car is a hanging offense in your hometown.
We'd torture 'em first.
You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.
Yoo-ker. That game really needs to catch on in the rest of the world. It's like spades, only more fun.
The Big Mac is something that you drive across.
Yup. The Five-Mile Bridge. Take that, teeny little gay Golden Gate!
You believe that "down south" means Toledo.
Ustadid.
Shoot, now "down south" for me means Brazil...
You bake with soda and drink pop.
Correct.
You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right.
More like 85, when I lived up there.
Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.
Naw, we'd play through that crap.
If you've ever barbequed in a blizzard... you might be from Michigan.
You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.
That's true. I swear.
You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".
Mack-i-naw. Been there. Walked the bridge.
The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.
Heh.
You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.
Not personally, but the potential was there.
But I had to come to the South before I got rained on and blinded by the sun at the same time.
You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.
...or Christmas.
...I've been through Hell!
At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game.
Y'know, I thought U-M/MSU was a big rivalry 'til I came to Alabama.
But U-M/Ohio State is still the biggest.
You know what a millage is.
True, but not sure why it's funny.
Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.
BWAHAHA!
Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.
NOW ya know what I'm talkin' aboot!
You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.
Right hand, stupid. And it's right above that big round muscle that controls your thumb.
...ya hafta see it to understand.
You know what a "Yooper" is.
Say "Ya!" to da U.P., eh!
Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done.
Friggin' road salt.
Half the people you know say they are from Detroit... yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit.
Not exactly- it's more like I tell people from elsewhere in the country that I'm from Detroit, but tell Michiganders that I'm from the suburbs.
And now the truth is out- this is why the above "Detroit" list was so short for me.
You know what a pastie is.
Grew up on 'em. Would kill for one right now.
At least 25% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
More like 50.
Octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
Amen. Go Wings!
You know more about [wind-]chill factors and lake effect [snow] than you'd EVER like to know!
Geez, I miss snow.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
I take it back- I don't miss snow.
When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."
Oh, man. The Michigan Left. Get this. On any major street in the state, in order to make a left turn at an intersection, you have to turn right, go between a quater and half a mile, and then turn around. This keeps people from having to cross traffic. It is asinine and everybody hates it. Argh.
You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.
Heh. Gotta find the worms to go fishin', eh.
You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.
That's true. And it's not really very funny.
Oh, okay, yes it is. Heh. Another Dadism: "If you don't like the weather in Michigan, wait five minutes. It'll get worse."
Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard.
So did I... *sigh*
S'all I got. I'm all writ out. Later.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
Check this out. It's got a bit of cussin', but that probably doesn't bother anybody besides me- and anyway, what would you expect from Patton?
I wonder if he would've pissed in the Euphrates?
Lots of stupidity going on in the world today. Fark's all over it.
Stupidity Number One:
A radio talk-show host, who was hired to tell the truth, has been fired for telling the truth. [1 , 2]
Now, I've never heard of Marty Minto, and the story doesn't go into too much detail. But it's pretty obvious that this guy is a Christian, who, as a pastor and radio personality, does his best to tell it like it is. Sounds to me like somebody asked him an honest question and he gave an honest answer. I didn't read anywhere that he said, "No! Pope evil! Him burn! Sinead was right! Arrrrr!!!"
Um, no. Not really. Sounds to me like that radio station is overcome by PC Nazis. If you're that desperate to not offend anyone, you shouldn't run talk radio programs. Especially Christian ones- okay, they were worried about losing some Catholic listeners- what about the millions of atheists/ agnostics/ Muslims/ Hindus/ Wiccans/ insert your religion here? Think you already alienated them, sorry. Canning this guy just proves how PC you all are at this station. Pastor Minto, I recommend a lawsuit. Clear-cut case of wrongful termination.
Stupidity Number The Next One:
It hurts people to be executed by lethal injection.
...
So?
...
And???
...
Oh. That's it. It hurts them? Um...
...good!
Check this out:
Without adequate anaesthesia, the authors say, the person being executed would experience asphyxiation, a severe burning sensation, massive muscle cramping and cardiac arrest - which would constitute the “cruel and unusual” punishment expressly forbidden by the US constitution’s Eighth Amendment.klaxons blare
The Eighth Amendment does not cover not having cable TV in your cell, not being allowed to eat your favorite food in jail, and in this case, some very short-lived pain. It may be dreadful pain, even excruciating. It is not, however, cruel or unusual. Excruciating pain has happened to me a few times. We in the Army call it getting smoked. Very excruciating pain has happened to my wife three times, so far. She calls it "having a kid". Death row inmates shouldn't be complaining. The fact that the government pays somebody to a) waste a perfectly good alcohol swab disinfecting your arm and b) at least try to get it in a vein, instead of just jabbing you in the nearest convenient body part and letting your bloodstream do the work, pretty much covers any whiny argument about "Eighth Amendment rights".
Head Moonbat Koniaris also had these things to say:
“My impression is that lethal injection as practiced in the US now is no more humane than the gas chamber or electrocution, which have both been deemed inhumane,”and
“But when you look at it critically, it’s anything but medical,” he says. “It’s a perverted medical practice.”Really? Deemed inhumane? Prove it. I've never heard that. I say we go back to hangin' and the firing squad- neither of which are the least bit "cruel" or "unusual". The same can be said of The Chamber™ and The Chair™. Moron.
As far as it being a "medical practice"- who thinks it's a medical practice? If it was, the Hippocratic Oath would prevent the execution from taking place. (Unless you live in Florida and have a corrupt judge on your side.) It is an administeration of death- ugly, yes, but necessary. Just because someone uses a syringe doesn't make what they're doing a medical practice. I'm sure heroin addicts would be interested to learn that they're acting as a physician every time they shoot up.
But then he says he's not against the death penalty. Oh. I'm sorry, I don't believe you.
That's enough stupidity out of you. Let's move on.
Stupidity Number The Last One:
Mexican government snubs nose at America, Part 52
Just how much more obviously anti-American can you get? I don't have much to add to this one, but at the advice of the Blogododecahedron Overlord, I'll make a neat little bulleted list.
• You make a pamphlet that shows your citizens the best way to invade America.
• You threaten law-abiding American citizens with international sanctions.
• You demand that the American government comply with its own laws, which you flagrantly violate every chance you get.
• You fail to reciprocate those same laws on your own citizens.
• As a matter of fact, you do the exact opposite.
• You make me mad.
• Piss off.
Geez, you'd think they were worried that we were going to invade, or something.
Hey...
Isn't it about time we annexed some more crap from Mexico? That's an age-old American pasttime. Let's go for Cancun and Acapulco this time.
Act right, Mexico. You're the winner of the "Country That Is Getting Way Too Big For Its Britches" award, and the fastest-rising star on the List of Countries That Piss Me Off. China better watch out.
That's enough stupidity. My head hurts.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Go read this. The blogododecahedron will never be the same.
Blog Overlord Frank, may I humbly request a postion as one of your Blugs?
No offense meant by that title if you're an American of Asian descent. I'm referring to the actual continent of Asia, which is responsible for nearly every war in the last fifty years. In the words of Kyle (or was it Stan?)- "Asian culture has plagued our fragile planet for many years. We must end it." And then Mr. Garrison said, "Excellent. A-."
So anyway, it appears that China is getting all pissy with Japan. I'm not gonna bother to link, go to any major news website and you should be able to find all the latest. It's actually been going on for a few days, but I just heard about it this morning (hat tip to RWD, with the News Roundup). China wants Japan to 'fess up to all the mean nasty things they did in WWII. Japan wants China to shove it. And somehow the question of whether or not Japan should have a permament seat on the UN Security Council became a factor. Or maybe that's where it started.
Anywho. Let's take these issues one at a time. China is annoyed because some Japanese textbooks don't give enough reference to the atrocities committed by the Japanese during World War II. Now, this is probably a first, but I actually agree with the Chinese here. The Japanese managed to elevate themselves to "Super-Nasty" level between 1931 and 1945, and put themselves on par with Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam, Kim Jong-Il, Castro, Pol Pot, and various past leaders of half the continent of Africa. Everyone knows about the Holocaust and the horrendous treatment the WWII-era Germans offered their prisoners. What is less well known is that aside from a handful of death camps, a prisoner of the Germans was much more likely to survive than one of the Japanese. The Nazis performed terrible human experiments- so did the Japanese. In some German POW camps the policy was "work 'em 'til they die, and don't bother to feed 'em too much while you're at it"- but this was standard policy throughout the Japanese Empire.
So. The Japanese during WWII were evil. Horribly, despicably evil. And the Chinese bore the brunt of Japanese atrocities. Eighty American airmen bomb Tokyo, and a handful make it to China? No problem, we'll slaughter two hundred thousand of your citizens, because those downed airmen might've received a little aid. We finally take your (then-)capital of Nanking? We'll rape every woman we see. And from what I understand, Japanese history basically shows that things were okay up until the 1930s, then in 1945 Americans starting bombing cities for no particular reason.
I don't know if that's true- I've never read a Japanese history book. But I don't doubt it. And if Japanese textbooks show a tragically misrepresented history, well, it's your country, bub- and if you think misleading your people for the honor of your ancestors or whatever is the way to go, well, okay. But I would just mention that showing your citizens only the parts you want them to know about is a tried-and-true method of many world leaders. Like Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Saddam, Kim Jong-Il, Castro, etc... see where this leads?
So I suppose the Chinese sort of have a valid gripe there. Accountability, and whatnot. "Goshdarnit, these dirty neighbors of ours did bad things to us, and we want them to admit it!" Okay. If they apologize, will it change anything? It'd be nice, sure, but will it really make you feel that much better?
But take into account just who's doing the griping here. C-H-I-N-A. In case you didn't know, the People'sWho are you trying to kid? RepublicEvil Commie Dictatorship has the dubious distinction of being my least-favorite country. If any country in the world has no right whatso-freaking-ever to complain about other people not being truthful, it's- um... well, the other "People's Republic", North Korea. But with Saddam no longer in charge of Iraq, China's a close second. These guys keep over a billion people in the dark as to the reality of their country, and the world. And you want Japan to tell the truth about something? Puh-lease. First let's have the Chinese government admit to the world that it's tyrannical, that its people have no freedom whatsoever, and while you're at it, tell us just how many of your citizens were murdered under Chairman Mao. Then maybe we can talk about some silly Japanese textbooks.
I mean, c'mon- what do you think Chinese textbooks say? "China has always been the bestest country ever, but man, when Chairman Mao came along with the Great Leap Forward, boy, we were on top of it then!" Please. Stupid Commies.
As far as the Security Council? Well, who cares? When John Bolton becomes Chancellor and Dictator-for-Life over the UN, it won't matter very much, will it? But since we live in an imperfect world, where the United Nations, sadly, still exists, I'll answer the question.
The permament seats on the UNSC are the US, the UK, Russia, France, and China- the five major nations that won WWII. Great. Whatever. The USSR and China should've been kicked off immediately for being dirty lying Commies. (I mean, yeah, sure, Stalin's soldiers did the vast majority of necessary killin' that led to the demise of the German Army. But when he enslaved Eastern Europe after promising democratic elections, we should've told him to stuff it. Better yet, we should've said, "How very Hitlerish of you.") Russia should've been given a skeptical look after '91, but then when they decided to take Saddam's side in 2002, they would've been kicked out again anyway, along with France. So right now the UNSC should be us and Britain. Period. Oh, and maybe Israel. As far as Japan- well, it certainly appears that the reasons for eligibility to the UNSC are obsolete. What the heck, let 'em in. At least they're a democracy. Yeah, whatcha got to say about that, China? Huh? Not talkin' too loud now, are ya?
Punks.
Man, I hate Commies.
Rachel Not-Lucas-Any-More got married. A long time ago.
Congrats, eh!
So now I'm the #3 Google search for "Beyonce's vagina".
Interesting.
Working on your day off.
Aah, it ain't that bad. Does make Monday morning kinda rough though, ya don't get that nice fresh-off-the-weekend feel.
Ugh.
John Smallberries of the Minutemen has posted over at La Shawn's. A tasty morsel:
[I] was astonished to see Reno sitting next to a small man, quietly talking in Spanish to him! I had to stop and be stunned for about 3 seconds. He smiled broadly at me, I smiled back, and then he proceeded to snarf the entire box of Fig Newtons, and drain a 1/3 of the water jug. He had not eaten for days.Yup. Definetely racist vigilantes, every one. Go read the rest.Thus - The entire rest of the weekend was conducted without a Fig Newton in sight. Tragic. However - he needed them more then me. Good.
And he was *very* happy to be found. This gent was from Guatemala, his guide had abandoned him 3 days ago, and left him to wander in the desert. He saw the lights of our operation, and simply walked toward the camp, and right up to Reno and Pecos at the front gate. Despite dire media predictions, he was not beaten, robbed, or lynched. He got fed, and actually asked Reno to call “La Migra” to come pick him up. Happy to oblige amigo!
You guys have a great deal more patience than I would, under similar circumstances.
WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG, ANGER-FILLED, BARELY-EDITED-ONCE, STREAM-OF-CONSCIOUSNESS-TYPE POST AHEAD
This post will severely tax my ability to express myself without going into Tourette's syndrome. Morons like this cause my trigger finger to twitch.
I'm not gonna link to anything (yet), but if you've watched any news since about 1300 EST, you know about The Moron. They may have revealed his name since I turned off my TV and left my room, but I don't care. His name, from here on out, will be The Moron.
The Moron decided to break just about every traffic law known to man, endanger probably ten thousand people, and snub his nose at authority all at the same time. Allegedly, The Moron started the day by ransacking his parents' house (if it's true, nobody knows why yet) and stealing their car. The Moron then proceeded to drive down several Los Angeles area interstate highways at speeds ranging from 20ish to 120ish.
More than a dozen cops followed The Moron for more than an hour, their hands tied by laws preventing the necessary action. I know a large amount of them were from the California Highway Patrol, and I believe also LA County, Orange County, LAPD, and probably dozens of local law enforcement agencies as well. They finally stopped him off the highway, at a store somewhere. Why The Moron decided to stop there is unknown to me, they're probably in the process of finding out all this crap as I write.
I was flipping back and forth between FoxNews and CNN during this whole episode, which conveniently started right as I was going to lunch, and ended right before I had to go back to work. Now, I will begin attempting to put all my angry thoughts into a coherent, readable form. Let's go.
Firstly, I would just like it to be known that The Moron is extremely lucky that I am not an officer of the CHP. Because if I was, right now The Moron would be dead. When I tuned in to the story, they had been chasing him for a short while, and he was waving random body parts out the window while driving. Now let's get something straight. I was a punk stupid teenager once. Have I driven down the road with the cruise control on, sitting on my windowsill (do cars have windowsills?) steering with one knee? Sure have. Did I endanger anyone besides myself while doing so? Nope. Have I driven 120 mph on a freeway? Not sure, my Escort topped out around 105- but I have done that in a 65, and if my car went 120, well that's what I would've done. Did I endanger others while doing so? Moderately, perhaps. Were the cops chasing me at the time? Nope- and if they were, my scared self would've freaked out- and then stopped, and accepted my punishment like a man. Have I had half my body out the top of a sunroof in a vehicle doing 90 mph? sigh Yup. Was I driving said vehicle? Of course not. Was it 30° on a Michigan December evening? Yup. Did my best friend, who was driving, turn on his windshield washers and mess me up good? Heh. Yup.
Geez, that was cold. Brrr.
Anyway. This post isn't about Happy Memories™, it's about The Moron. The Moron did all these things, weaving in and out of traffic, with about a dozen cop cars chasing him, in speeds varying from 90, to 40, to 70, to 20, to 100+, whatever he felt like that particular second. It's okay, The Moron. It's your world, none of us little people matter.
That's become a major problem in America. A great deal of people show such a degree of selfishness that they believe that their actions don't influence other people, or maybe they know, and they just don't care. The Moron is one or the other. It's time for The Moron to learn a valuable life lesson or twelve. Hopefully if he gets slammed good and hard it'll convince a few potential Morons out there to think twice before exhibiting careless, selfish behavior.
Oh, wait, I forgot. This is The People'sActivist Judges' Republik of Kalifornia we're talking about here. I heard somebody, after The Moron stopped his car, that the judges here don't take this lightly, that he would not get off with a slap on the wrist. No, they are going to throw the book at him. He'll receive a lengthy jail term.
Good. Publicize every second of The Moron's trial, like you did with Michael Jackson, and Martha Stewart, and OJ, and a bunch of other people I couldn't care less about. Let real people see what happens when an average guy (read: not celebrity) breaks this many laws, this flagrantly, in front of this many people. Put your cameras in his jail cell once a day and remind the potential Morons just what happens when you pull this stuff.
Naw... not the MSM. Maybe we can some bloggers to report on him daily.
But as to the guy who's confident that The Moron will rot in jail for a good little while- I'll believe that when I see it. And I want to see it. I want it to happen, and I want to watch.
But I don't think it'll happen. Not in California.
FoxNews had a former West Virginia state trooper named Ric Robinson call up. Maybe they called him, I don't know. He is now officially a cool guy. He voiced over international TV what I was screaming at my TV. That the officers showed remarkable restraint, even though The Moron's defense attorney will undoubtedly cry and pout how his actions were forced because the cops were following him. That the rules and regulations slapped on cops to keep them from using a little too much force keep them from quickly capturing criminals.
...
He said lots of other outstanding things, but I can't remember them. Too bad I couldn't liveblog this. Anyway.
I'm all about there being rules to keep cops from having too much power. Same thing with soldiers. Same thing with lawmakers and judges- unfortunately, while the rules restraining soldiers work very well, the ones for cops are way too restrictive. And the ones for the legislature and judiciary are not enforced. Not any more, anyway.
Hmm. That's a rant for a different day. Back to The Moron.
Did I mention that The Moron is lucky I wasn't one of those cops? I have a soldier's mentality. Now, I'm not hyping myself up. I spent seven months in the 'Stan... fixing radars. I've never fired my weapon at the enemy. Or anyone, for that matter. I've never seen combat, and the Army has never put me in a position where I was scared for my life. But when it comes to defending myself, my fellow soldiers, and innocent noncombatants, I will kill whoever asks for it, within my rules of engagement. There are situations and places where if somebody needed killin', I couldn't just pop them. However, if they show themselves to be a tangible threat to me or other soldiers, I am authorized to shoot to kill. Depending on the situation, of course. Some situations I'd be allowed to open fire to protect civilians. But the key thing is, when I see someone acting in a manner that will possibly or probably get somebody killed, my first instinct is to remove their ability to do so.
Usually that requires them to give up their life. Sucks to be them.
So. My appreciation and admiration goes out to every one of those cops. They showed much more restraint then I would've- or could've. I don't think my aforementioned "soldier's mentality" would allow me to be a cop. I would've handled this situation very quickly.
"Hmm... The Moron is driving erratically, weaving in and out of traffic, not making any attempt to keep control of his vehicle... hmm. Option 1. Shoot him now. Nope, can't. Cars ahead of him. Innocent civilians. Might miss. Hit them. Bad. Option 2. Have helicopter land on him. Nope, can't. Might hurt pilot. Option 3. Get in front, slam on brakes. Yep. That'll work."
Y'know, I meant to blog about this, but I didn't get around to it. Perfect time to mention it now. A couple days ago I saw a bit of a COPS-like show on Spike-TV, or something. Basically had this guy (The Moron's older brother, I'd guess) running from the cops in a pickup. They threw out the spikes and flattened all four of his tires. He was driving on the rims and this genius decided to get on the freeway, going the wrong way. He could only manage about 15 miles an hour, but still. He was going. The. Wrong. Way. The cops following him asked permission to box him in, and when they got it, one bravely risked his own safety to run the guy into the wall.
I would've shot him afterward.
Now understand, I would never shoot at someone who I was 100% certain was trying to surrender and was no longer a threat to me or anyone else. It's not about revenge, or dishing out justice. As a cop, that's not your job. The justice system, flawed and corrupt as it is in some places, must be trusted to do what's right. Same thing as a soldier, if I caught some POWs. Killing them once they're surrendered is beyond my jurisdiction.
But (moving back to The Moron's older brother's situation) let there be the slightest chance that the guy has a gun. The. Slightest. Chance. I will unload on him, and them reload my weapon, just in case he's not dead.
Cops have lots of rules clamping down on potential bad cop behavior, for good reason. Criminals do have rights, even after they're sent to jail. One of them is the right to not be killed for no reason by a cop who's just having a bad day.
But if you run from the cops- especially in a manner that endangers them, and thousands of civilians- you lose those rights.
Now, I don't know what the law says here. Even if it agrees with me, I know that in a place like California especially, a reasonable shooting like that would land a good cop in jail. So they have to be very, often unnecessarily, careful. In being forced to do so, they put themselves in danger, and allow civilians to be out in danger as well. All for the rights of a Moron whose idea of fun is careening down a busy interstate, flipping off cops.
I would've killed him.
No, you don't understand. I don't throw those words around lightly. I would've killed him.
You still ain't gettin' it. You put my life in danger? My wife could be driving herself and the kids around while you wanna act the fool? You play dice with 10,000 other motorists' lives?
I. WILL. KILL. YOU.
Let's change the subject. I'm gettin' pissed off again. The Moron isn't even in the news anymore. Not the Top Story™, anyway.
Let's talk about punishment for The Moron, since those kind (though he's probably cussing them right now) and patient cops didn't kill him.
That guy (whoever he was) said he'll get some serious jail time. Good. But let's talk about reimbursements, shall we?
First of all, I think that any crime that causes superfluous police work should be paid in full by the criminal, if it turns out that he's guilty. Ordinary, open-and-shut crimes, no big deal. That's what we pay detectives and forensics guys for. But if the cops are chasing you, and you know it, and you don't stop? The timer starts running, just like a taxicab. If a dozen cop cars have to chase you, you have to pay back all their fuel costs. I heard that there were many more police cars involved- blocking off the onramps, making sure nobody got on the highway. Ooh, buddy, that'll cost ya. Pay back all those local PDs for their wasted time. Pay back all those commuters you inconvenienced. Pay back each and every victim of a crime in that area, committed while the cops were busy chasing your fool self around.
How 'bout this? Everybody sue him. Each driver that couldn't get on the interstate because of this guy's selfishness? Sue him for 50 dollars. Every single one of them. All ten thousand of them. Of course, you have to add your attorney costs, and time lost at court pursuing your lawsuit. Every employer who lost money because their employees couldn't get back from lunch? Sue The Moron. Every accident that happened on side streets because the interstate was closed. Sue The Moron.
Now, I'm still my anti-frivolous-lawsuit self, but in this case I'll make an exception.
And how 'bout some traffic fines? Running from the cops, possible possession-of-a-stolen-vehicle aside, how about writing him a ticket for every illegal lane change? I saw him go over the lines at least a hundred times. At least. Was his blinker on for every one of those lane changes? Start writing some tickets. I know he broke the speed limit several times. I know waving your hands (or feet, or whole friggin' body) out of the car is reckless driving, correct? More tickets. Shoot, get him for each time he slowed down to 20 miles an hour- minimum speed on an interstate's 45, buddy.
Give him traffic tickets for $20,000 and lawsuits for $100,000 and see how many more Morons we see in the future.
Oh, and crash the car into him to get him to stop, and then charge him for a new squad car, too.
...
I'm tired. Almost done, though.
Yeah, that's about it, for now. I'm gonna post this "as is", and proof the thing later- I'm getting eyestrain, and this took way too long to write. I might edit it, or change some stuff around, or add a bit, or whatever- later on.
Yup.
Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.
Well, the Minutemen are off and running, even before they officially open for business.
A tidbit:
"You observe them, report them and get out of the way,” said Mike McGarry, a spokesman for the project...Oh, yes, clearly a group of mercenaries bent on terrorizing the good emigrants of the noble nation of Mexico. Riiiiiight.
Hey, Loyal SITYSK™ Reader(s?)! My coworker Jeremiah just started a blog. You should Go. And Read Now.
I wonder if this makes me an Official BlogFather™. Well, CD asked if this makes him a blog-grandpa, so, I guess so.
Fellas, I really don't need to hear the phrases "Side effects may include nausea, diarrhea, or constipation," and/or "People with urinary tract infections should not take [insert name of your stupid product here]," with my eggs and bacon in the morning. I like orange juice with eggs and bacon, not disgusting bodily functions.
I'm gathering that some bureaucrat lawyer decided that commercials for drugs should list all possible side effects, even if the chances of you getting cancer from your headache pill is 10 billion to one. Really, people, is this necessary? I'm sure the doctor that has to prescribe the stuff can give me all the gory details before I take it.
And on a related note, I wanna make a cough syrup that can cause severe vomiting, deterioration of stomach lining causing digestion of one's own body, uncontrolled urination, skin dehydration, bleeding of the lungs, and heart failure. Maybe then people will see how idiotic these commercials are.
Editor's note: Sorry if you read that last paragraph while eating your breakfast. But at least now you know how I feel.
Well, in the spirit of CD, who are you people? I just started really poking around with SiteMeter this weekend, and I noticed a couple technorati searches for "medal of honor" led people to my post about SFC Smith. That was kinda nifty, but today I noticed this. Somebody was obviously looking specifically for me. That warms the heart.
Note: something is wrong with that link. It's supposed to take you to a page that searched for "Army NCO Guy blogspot.com", or something like that. Curses.
Okay, usually when CD asks that infamous question, it's 'cuz somebody was looking for Beyonce's vagina or something similarly insane, but that's the first Google search I've seen that brought somebody here, so it got noticed.
And for the Other Thing™:
Holy crap, a basilalanche! Run for your lives! Friday, my silliness was exposed all across the 'sphere, but it sure was a good day to be a SITYSK™.
Um... thatisall.
OPEN NOTE TO CD: Dude, how do you make the link to goofy Google search pages work? That link I tried to make is taking me to Google's homepage. S'very peculiar.
UPDATE, EH: Okay, the link to Google is fixed. For some reason, the URL changed itself between Google and my SiteMeter. Me not know.
Hey, all you Fellow Users of Blogg-monst-er! How do I get my archives to say "March 2005, April 2005" etc. instead of "03-01-2005 - 03-31-2005, 04-01-2005 - 04-30-2005"?
Is it something buried in the template somewhere?
UPDATE: Never mind, y'all, I found it. Hooray for not looking in the most obvious place.
So, I started my morning trek around the 'sphere today, and I saw this. basil's is usually one of my first stops 'cuz he keeps tabs on the 'sphere so I don't have to. Anyway, his post led me to this. Hint: for full effect, ignore the comments section. Like I did, at first. How utterly silly of me.
Oh. The. Horror.
FrankJ sold IMAO? Now, gosh, I know he's busy what with the engagement and all, but man. Just about wrecked my whole day.
Poop.
So I wrote a post that consisted basically of agonized screams and whinings, which the Blogg-monst-er promptly ate. Good thing, too, 'cuz I would've shown my ignorance to the truth.
As I continued to meander purposelessly, pathetically, and downtrodden through the rest of the blogosphere, I kept coming back to that new-and-notimproved IMAO homepage. Couldn't leave it alone. I was heartbroken.
And then I finally went back to SarahK's post about this whole episode, and actually read the comments. (And soon afterward began adding my own.) Hint: read the comments on her page now.
Y'know, last night I went to bed smugly confident that no one would dupe me this April Fool's, thankyouverymuch!
Should've. Expected. It. From. Frank.
Duh.
Silly Brad.
Man, they got me good. Even Harvey and RightWingDuck were in on it, as well they should be. Cursed, dishonorable, wicky-wacky ronin, all of you! The Group Humor Blog strikes again!
Man, you guys got me good. Well done.
UPDATE: The Blogg-monst-er apparently regurgitated my post back to me. I'll leave it up, so you can experience my initial torment.
UPUPDATE: basil mocks me. How mean of him. However, I'm inclined to agree with what he said. Heh.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deep inhalation
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
deep inhalation
(/scream mode)
(whine mode)
But... no.
IMAO has left the building.
No.
Nooooooooooooo.
(/whine mode)
More on this when I've had to time to accept this awful new reality.
noooo.