1 May 05

S'pose I oughta throw in my 2¢

Well, it's about time to talk about The One That Got Awayâ„¢, aka Jennifer Wilbanks. I'm not gonna bother to make any specific links (s'becoming a rather bad habit lately) simply because right now there's too much to choose from. I don't have time to read even a decent chunk of what's out there- I meant to write and post this yesterday morning but didn't have the time.

So. I'll go off the latest snippets I've noticed on TV. If any of my information is flawed, feel free to point it out, it's just journalistic laziness on my part. (Hmm, if I perfect that, I could work at CBS...) What we've got so far is:

1. She jumped on a bus headed west.
2. In Albuquerque she decided maybe she should call home.
3. She told the cops she got kidnapped and taken to Vegas.
4. She 'fessed up and admitted she just got cold feet.

Or something like that. Now, the problem is, everything I've heard is either just what somebody else thinks, or hearsay. So I'll approach this two different ways.

Approach #1. She planned it all in advance, hence the haircut, and the possible advanced purchased ticket, etc. I don't wanna believe that. If it's the case, then screw her- she's evil, and you can do better, Mr. Mason. Just how selfish and self-centered can a person get? I've heard people say she did it all for a media circus- if that's so, then seriously- let's forget her and move on.

Approach #2. Well, I'm all about giving people the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, there's no reason (yet?) for me to assume the worst about this lady. So. The last paragraph was the worst possible scenario, now let's discuss the best possible scenario.

I'd like to think that she didn't plan it all out as some kind of insane publicity stunt. There's been enough incredibly evil people coming out of the Florida/Georgia area the last couple months- I would really like it if one potentially horrible person turns out to not be all that bad. So let's assume, for the sake of making assumptions, that what happened was something like this:

She goes out running. During the run, she's thinking long and hard about the upcoming marriage. She freaks out. Even though her wallet and anything else one would want before a cross-country bus ride is in the house, she (for some reason) has the couple hundred dollars Greyhound will charge you to go from Atlanta to New Mexico. She jumps on the bus to think it all over. She winds up in Albuquerque, has second thoughts about her second thoughts, and somewhere along the way realizes that half the friggin' country is looking for her. She knows she might get in trouble, so in a panic she tells the Albuquerque cops that she got kidnapped.

Well, let's pick this apart. A couple of details make this story nearly impossible- if she didn't buy the ticket in advance, why in the world did she take $150 or whatever on a run around the neighborhood? Or did she have her ATM card but nothing else? Both of those possibilities are unlikely in the extreme- but that doesn't mean it didn't happen that way. The other detail is why she cut her hair. That one I don't have an answer for, but remember, right now we are dwelling in Possibility Land.

As far as the fanciful fabrication she told the cops- well, have you ever done something really dumb and then made up a crazy lie to try and weasel out of it? I have, many a time. (I've grown out of it, however- that's what separates children from adults.) But maybe she got really paranoid, and decided coming up with a cover story would be best.

I think a key point we need to know before we either pass judgment or forgive is, at just what point did she find out that everybody thought she'd been kidnapped? Her story (the last I heard) is that she had no access to TV the whole way from Georgia to New Mexico. That's hard to believe, but I've taken a Greyhound before, and it's not inconceivable that she was cut off from the world while on the bus, and didn't have a chance to catch up on the news while she was in the stations. But for five days? S'gettin' kinda fishy in here.

So I guess even the best possible outcome is that this woman is very small-minded and very selfish. At best- how do you jump on a bus, the week before your wedding, and just jet across the country without a care in the world? Did you not stop for just one second and think that maybe the man you've pledged yourself to is having what is doubtless the worst week of his entire life? Did you not consider your six hundred wedding guests, who, at the least have been greatly inconvienced, and in reality are scared to death that they're gonna wake up tomorrow to the news that you've been found in the woods with your throat cut? Haven't you been paying attention to life in your part of the country? Did you not realize that cops all over the country have been working long days trying to find you?

What could you possibly have been thinking?

Well- I won't rush into a judgment based on incomplete data. But at best it is clear that this woman is not ready to be married. No, I'm not trying to state the obvious, that she's not ready to be married right now, that she doesn't know if she can handle all these guests, blah, blah, blah. I'm saying she's not ready to be married, period. This stunt- even if it wasn't done with evil intent- proves that she is at the maturity level of a typical high school sophomore. Before anyone even considers being married, all this should've been thought through. And one very important thing- in marriage, there cannot be any secrets. If you are hiding something from your fiancé, either spit it out or don't get married yet. If you are so unsure of everything that you think your best option is to hit the road right before your wedding day- well, maybe that's a good thing, 'cuz you were never remotely ready to undertake a challenge as massive as marriage.

Hmm... this just occurred to me... what if she'd have gotten married, and then become pregnant? "Oh, crap, but I'm not ready for this!" This kind of selfish, unthinking attitude kills a lot of innocent babies in America.

(/random thought mode)

Well, we'll see how it plays out. Is it possible that the stress of the whole situation got to her and she realized she was in way over her head? Yeah, I guess so. But taking off on a bus without so much as a phone call is reprehensible. I don't care how scared you are- be enough of a grown-up to admit it. Your groom-to-be will accept your hesitancy if not completely understand, and your guests will live. D'ya think that might be a little better than having them think you were dead?

UPDATE: Posted too soon. Forgot something.

They're talking about pressing charges because she pulled a silly stunt that dragged a lot of cops into the mix. Read the last third or so of this post and you'll see what I think of people that waste cops' time, and in effect waste taxpayers' money. Especially if it turns out to be a setup on her part- slam her.

'NUTHER UPDATE: La Shawn is seriously irritated at this girl. And La Shawn is wise, so pay attention.

STILL ANOTHER UPDATE: ...here.

Hey, if this entertained or enlightened you in the slightest, kindly visit the new site.

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